When you settle into your new normal after being diagnosed with a chronic illness, you begin to think, Okay, I can do this, until a setback or flare accentuates the fact that you have little control over your own body. I sometimes cope with this by trying to control something or someone else, usually my husband.

You can’t go back to your old body or your old life before you were diagnosed. Wishing for that life is self-delusion. It’s like gluing a shattered piece of pottery together and expecting it to be the same as it was before it was broken. This way of thinking can only end in disappointment.

Chronic illness can make us feel as if we have lost our power, that indescribable propelling force that makes us who we are. We feel helpless to change our circumstances as our bodies don’t behave as we want them to, or we are overwhelmed by fatigue and pain.

Intense focus on single aspects of our diseases can enable specialists to effectively treat symptoms and avoid disaster, but it can give us the distorted sense that we are the sum of our parts instead of synergistic beings. This can crystalize for us a vision that focuses only on our physical selves and abilities.